It appears in my several travels back and fourth to the West Coast I’ve spent more time enjoying my friend’s company than enjoying all the fun exciting things Perth has to offer, which is just ridiculous if you ask me.

So on my most recent travel’s I have followed this guide from the Urban List (and definitely not done all 50) and here is a guide to how it all went so none of you ever have to leave your cosy East Coast homes.

Little Creatures

Went to Fremantle, ran out of money. Didn’t go inside Little Creatures but I saw it with both of my eyes and went to a nearby beach instead and sent a snap to my friends who drink beer. Do that instead.

Jacob’s Ladder


Went to Jacob’s Ladder, was more of a staircase. Sent a hilarious snap to all my friends named Jacob. Classic. 10/10 would snap again.

Cottesloe Beach 

Went to Cottesloe on a previous visit. I think we had ice cream? Someone remind me?

The Belltower

Looked at the building which I assume famous facebook page and trust worthy news source the Bell Tower Times is written. Also WTF.

Mount Lawley

MORE LIKE MOUNT FURRY. I’m actually still scarred from the rabbits with boobs and dogs with dicks.
(Side note: this wasn’t on the list so I’ve been scarred for no reason)


Basically Perth’s version of Fortitude Valley. Didn’t really visit this trip but have spent more than one evening at Amplifier which is what would happen if you got all of the people who enjoy the Brightside and combined them with all the people who go to The RE but gave them money because drinks are way more pricey on the West Coast (take note before going clubbing).  However stumbling to the train station via Lord of the Fries makes it all worth it.
Oh and there’s good food and occasionally edible flowers (pictured).


I didn’t go here and I’m still angry about it.

Elizabeth Quay


Imagine another city saw South Bank and was like “I want one of those” but they didn’t really have a place for their knock off South Bank so were kind of like UHHH lets put in some weird statues and just build some really fucking tall high rises and spend a LOT of money. That’s Elizabeth Quay. Also I’m still angry and confused (and maybe slightly aroused) by the weird giant ovals.

Fremantle’s West End

It’s kind of like Brisbane’s West End except with ~* beach vibes *~
Good food, lots of hippies but the hippies can surf.

Kings Park 

Most of the things you’d want to do as a “tourist” are at Kings Park.
It’s basically Perth’s poor excuse for mountain but there’s a cool tree and some nice gardens and a pretty dope bridge so you know it’s not that bad. It’s a nice spot for sunset picnics.

Swan Valley 

Run out of money? No problem because you can just stock up on a tonne of free relish samples at Providore and free chocolate from the Margaret River Chocolate Factory next door. The secret is to look like you might actually want to buy something but then not buy anything. Works a charm.

Fremantle Markets

Did this on a previous visit and I can confirm there was definitely people selling stuff. If you’re into exchanging money for goods and services you’re gonna bloody love this.

Gusto Gelato

I walked past this place and insulted my ancestors by pronouncing it so wrong.


Right in the middle of Leederville is a place called Greens & Co but nobody told me that it’s permanently graffiti’d to say Greens & Cock.  Lovely area otherwise.

Caversham Wildlife Park 

This wasn’t on the Urban List’s list but by George it should be! It’s just a lot of animals including like two Quokkas (still mad about Rottnest) and a giant freaking Pelican that will just come right up to the fence and I nearly cried because I love that pelican so much. I’m crying right now. I hope he’s happy.

Scarborough Beach 

Not on the Urban List but there were several other beaches that I didn’t visit so this will do.
Surprisingly not that different from Scarborough, Redcliffe except the lack of dope trees that I remember being much larger as a child.
However Scarborough, Perth has some cute bars and a fancy ass hotel. Oh and a beach with sand and water.
It’s perfect for posting a picture on instagram like “Wow! Perth is amazing! Thanks for the sunset! Which you did just for me! Because the sun doesn’t set every day! But today it did! And it did it for me! Wow!”

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