Like so many other artists Taylor Swift has a bunch of songs that share titles with other songs that were written by someone else. Today they go into battle.

Call It What You Want

In Taylor Swift’s song has some ominous lyrics about this so called ‘baby’ (who is probably as real as the boyfriend I made up in grade 8, which EVERYONE knew I made up but whatever)  is ruined by the fact she says ‘I brought a knife to a gun fight’ in the first verse. What the hell Taylor?

In Foster The People’s version we know from the first bar we’re in for a BOP. The combination of piano and synth and lyrics that I’m not even sure what they’re saying (I just checked and they also mention knives in this song, take that how you will) until they’re telling us to ‘Call It What You Want’ makes this the perfect recipe for a chill tune on a Sunday sesh.

Winner: Foster The People – Their song has you bopping from start to finish whereas Taylor loses you early in.

Love Story

In Taylor Swift’s story we hear from the perspective of a 14-year-old who has just studied Shakespeare and has been asked to interpret it into modern English. The only problem is Taylor clearly didn’t finish Romeo and Juliet because THEY DIE. THEY LITERALLY BOTH DIE?? I don’t know how she missed that part but she did and it didn’t make it into her song.

I actually listened to 3 other songs called Love Story before I came across a worth competitor, Mariah Carey.
In Mariah’s version it’s like the musical embodiment of a super exclusive bar with low lighting drinking a martini with an olive.  But you and I both know Mariah can do better than this. I don’t think a single lyric retained from this song and I started thinking about It’s Like That halfway through because that is an ultimate Mariah tune.

Winner: Taylor Swift – As if you can listen to Taylor’s version without belting out the lyrics and understanding true love from the perspective of a teenager.

22

Taylor Swift’s 22 has helped create the height of comedy for anyone in their early 20s who clearly posts this song on their friends walls when they hit the age of 22.  Taylor makes 22 sound like the ultimate age to be, and as someone who has been 22, she’s not completely wrong.  She hasn’t just created a song, but a moment in history.

Lily Allen’s 22 is the polar opposite of Taylor’s song. She brings us all back down to earth by reminding us by the time we’re almost 30 we’re going to be almost as miserable as we were when we were going through our emo phase’s as teens. And you know what, I’m glad Lily is hear to spill that truth tea because sometimes we all need a reminder that our youth is fleeting and you can easily ruin your life in the space of just 8 years.

Winner: Tie – This one was too difficult to split, Taylor really did nail the feeling of 22 but we need Lily to keep us grounded.

Mean

Taylor Swift presents us with the perfect song to listen to when your former manager of your not fantastic retail job used to treat you like hell and spend her days complaining about you to your co-workers who happen to also be some of your best friends. Instead of getting mad you can go home, listen to this song and realise that this person is literally a store manager and has reached the age where that’s as far as they’ll go in life (see Lily Allen’s 22) and you’ve still got your whole life ahead of you? I feel inspired even just writing this.

P!nk takes on a different perspective of Mean, where instead of rising above the other bully she admits she is just as guilty of being mean. I assume this song is about her husband (because what P!nk song isn’t about her husband?) and their love-hate relationship. I appreciate that P!nk is trying to fix the situation, sometimes it’s good to admit you’re wrong.

Winner: Taylor Swift – Although P!nk provides us with the a good message of sometimes you need to admit you’re wrong, Taylor Swift looks at the bigger picture of there’s more to life. And she’s so damn right.

This Love

You know those moments when you’re in a relationship and you just feel so at peace, everything in your life is so perfect, you might be just lying next to your partner and feeling so satisfied with the whole situation? Good, cause I bloody well don’t and 0/10 cannot relate to Taylor’s version of This Love.

Once again we are presented with the polar opposite of Taylor’s song with Maroon 5’s version of This Love. That guitar riff playing throughout combined with that funky drum beat has you hooked from opening before feeling the passion of Adam who has been WRONGED by this heart breaker (I think? I think that’s what this song is about?). No more goodbyes for Adam.

Winner: Maroon 5 – I can’t relate to either of these songs but Maroon 5 doesn’t have the corny factor like Taylor’s making it ultimately better.

Stay Beautiful

OG Country Taylor Swift has only one mission in life, and it’s to name drop as many people as she possibly can. In this song we’re introduced to Cory who I’m gathering from the lyrics was a very pretty boy. I met a Cory once who didn’t get the hint I wasn’t keen despite the fact my friends and I left him in the beer garden of Rics alone for a good hour. He just sat there drinking his whisky cola waiting…

Following on from The Last Goodnight’s ultimate banger that was Pictures of You, Stay Beautiful doesn’t highlight one specific person which is nice because you can apply it to anyone with their blueish brownish greenish eyes. For all I know this song is about me. In fact, I’m going to take a guess and say it definitely is about me so I will Stay Beautiful thanks.

Winner: The Last Goodbye – Taylor’s song is too specific, suggesting only Cory’s are beautiful. Well guess what Taylor, anyone can be beautiful if they put their mind to it.

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