After 24 rotations of the sun it’s fair to refer me now as an OWL (Old wise lady). Here are some very important messages of wisdom and interesting factoids for your amusement. Enjoy.
1. A group of magpies is called a parliament
Which if you think about what an actual parliament consists of this is a very fair grouping.
2. There’s a place in Canada where the polar bear population outnumbers the human population
Actually to be fair there’s probably multiple places in Canada where this occurs but I’ve recently been made aware of this fact.
3. Books are always easier to read right at the end than they are at the beginning
Explain that science.
4. There is good screen and there is bad screen
Bad screen is the computer you sit in front of from 9 to 5 and good screen is the computer you watch netflix on.
5. Animals should not be used in substitution for weights
But I made sure first for good cause (you’re welcome).
6. Stereo probably isn’t coming back
I don’t want to talk about it.
7. Every mood is better if you add big to the start of it and energy to the end
For example big mood energy, big chaotic gay energy, big smell energy, big new prime minister energy, big renewable energy.
8. Mochas aren’t a gateway to cappuccinos
They’re a gateway for instant long blacks and constantly feeling dead inside.
9. Like drinking cider unironically on facebook
10. You become much more aware of your mortality in your mid-20s
Suddenly I must travel the world and go to more festivals as my youth is fleeting.
11. I overcommitted to coming up with 24 ideas
But mama didn’t raise a quitter.
12. Gil Gunderson is one of the most underrated Simpsons characters
What about old Gil?
13. Face masks don’t actually make you less depressed
But I’m still gonna do them.
14. Listening to Alex Lahey on repeat doesn’t actually make you less depressed
But I’m still gonna listen.
15. Follow @somepicturesofmecrying on instagram
XVI. My friends say I’m more Lawful than Chaotic
Well if I’m so lawful why did I write 16 in roman numerals?! Explain that atheists.
17. Asking strangers if they had a traumatic childhood ISN’T a good opening line
But in my defence maybe they DID and they just really needed someone to talk to #unsunghero.
18. If you ask a guy named Chris if his name is short for Christhew he won’t get the joke
Same goes if you ask Sam if his name is short for Samathy and if you ask Tom if it’s short of Tomuel and if you ask Josh if it’s short for Joshchard. They won’t get the joke…
19. 7-11 is a luxury
Please never take the convenience of 24 hour shopping for granted because when the midnight cravings kick in there’s no way to fill them.
20. Life is easy when you wear a smile
Just be your self don’t ever change your style.
21. Just because Blake Lively is in it doesn’t make it the Gossip Girl movie
But I’m still going to call any movie she’s in exactly that.
22. Bandicoots look nothing like Crash Bandicoot
Even further to this the scale is so off when Crash gets to ride on polar bears and what not. I’m very upset about this if you can respect my privacy at this time.
23. Magnetic Island isn’t just a big island full of magnets
Apparently it does have some weird ‘magnetic’ affect though but I’ll leave that one to science.
24. Resilience is real
Making it to 24 is proof (interpret that how you wish).