Many have asked the question but have been too afraid to answer it. Today I present an in-depth analysis conducted with the aid of Libby as to whether your favourite Shakespearean characters are a true fuckboi or just a mere softboi.

Hamlet


Hamlet:
Softboi
Despite being a twat to Ophelia he cried a lot and had a serious oedipus complex thus making him ultimately a softboi. Plus that monologue belongs on beam me up softboi.

Claudius: Fuckboi
Literally killed a man, became someone’s step dad probably for some weird kink reasons. also literally killed a man. That’s serious fuckboiery.

Horatio: Softboi
Horatio was the peak soft boy in this play mostly due to the whole being dead part. so soft

Polonius: Soft Fuckboi
Ultimate Shakespearean daddy vibes but somehow is always wrong. He’s soft but still a daddy.

Macbeth


Macbeth:
Fuckboi
To clarify he’s actually a simp for Lady Macbeth because he would literally do anything for her but again the whole killing people thing is very fuckboi.

Banquoi: Softboi
He’s just a nice lad it’s a shame he got killed.

Macduff: Fuckboi
Macduff definitely has the vibes of someone who would just never let you forget that not only was he untimely ripped from his mothers womb but that he saved Scotland from Macbeth (like he’s some sort of hero). 

The entire moving forest: Fuckbois
It’s been several year’s since I’ve studied this play but I feel like the forest just shows up then DISAPPEARS like a bunch of ghosting fuckbois.

Othello


Othello:
Softboi
Peak softboi because he loves his wife just a little too much but in a soft way.

Iago: Fuckboi
There’s no valid reason for him to hate Othello the way he do and yet he made Othello believe his wife did the bad thing. Why? Jealousy? so he can bone Othello’s wife? That’s some fuckboiery

Rodrigo: Fuckboi
I
ago’s accomplice,  say no more.

Cassio: Softboi
He’s just an innocent bystander in all of this but a soft one nonetheless. The Rodrigo killing thing was just a misunderstanding

Romeo and Juliet


Romeo:
Fuckboi
At first I thought he was a softboi due to the whole simping for Juliet but he literally ENDED his own planned marriage cause he just wasn’t vibing? As if that isn’t some red hot tabasco sauce fuckboi bullshit.

Mercutio: Softboi
Honestly I just vibe real hard with Mercutio and respect him for calling Romeo out on his bullshit but also staying truly bipartisan to the end where he curses everyone. Real soft moves.

Tybalt: Fuckboi
You just know from the text that Tybalt is a hottie but he also knows he’s a hottie. But also he’s weirdly overprotective of Juliet for a cousin? Like you know there’s some weird first cousin shit going down in the Capulet family.

Friar Lawrence: Fuckboi
Hear me out, yes I get as a Friar he’s probably never had anyone touch his dingaling but you cannot convince me he wasn’t jacking it off to Romeo and Juliet’s secret relationship like hell yeah I did that. Also the way he continually encouraged Romeo’s bullshit has massive fuckboi vibes.

Twelfth Night


(This is actually based on She’s the Man I never studied this play except for my skim through Sparksnotes)

Orsino: Softboi
He think’s he’s a fuckboi but just has no luck with the ladies. Girl’s pine over him and yet he has none?

Mavolio: Softboi
The fool simps hard for Olivia? I think? He shouldn’t though.

Sebastian: Fuckboi
But he’s accidentally a fuckboi. He’s probably harmless but as soon as Olivia starts giving him attention he is true fuck.

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