Many have asked the question but have been too afraid to answer it. Today I present an in-depth analysis conducted with the aid of Libby as to whether your favourite Shakespearean characters are a true fuckboi or just a mere softboi.
Despite being a twat to Ophelia he cried a lot and had a serious oedipus complex thus making him ultimately a softboi. Plus that monologue belongs on beam me up softboi.
Literally killed a man, became someone’s step dad probably for some weird kink reasons. also literally killed a man. That’s serious fuckboiery.
Horatio was the peak soft boy in this play mostly due to the whole being dead part. so soft
Polonius: Soft Fuckboi
Ultimate Shakespearean daddy vibes but somehow is always wrong. He’s soft but still a daddy.
To clarify he’s actually a simp for Lady Macbeth because he would literally do anything for her but again the whole killing people thing is very fuckboi.
He’s just a nice lad it’s a shame he got killed.
Macduff definitely has the vibes of someone who would just never let you forget that not only was he untimely ripped from his mothers womb but that he saved Scotland from Macbeth (like he’s some sort of hero).
The entire moving forest: Fuckbois
It’s been several year’s since I’ve studied this play but I feel like the forest just shows up then DISAPPEARS like a bunch of ghosting fuckbois.
Peak softboi because he loves his wife just a little too much but in a soft way.
There’s no valid reason for him to hate Othello the way he do and yet he made Othello believe his wife did the bad thing. Why? Jealousy? so he can bone Othello’s wife? That’s some fuckboiery
Iago’s accomplice, say no more.
He’s just an innocent bystander in all of this but a soft one nonetheless. The Rodrigo killing thing was just a misunderstanding
Romeo and Juliet
At first I thought he was a softboi due to the whole simping for Juliet but he literally ENDED his own planned marriage cause he just wasn’t vibing? As if that isn’t some red hot tabasco sauce fuckboi bullshit.
Honestly I just vibe real hard with Mercutio and respect him for calling Romeo out on his bullshit but also staying truly bipartisan to the end where he curses everyone. Real soft moves.
You just know from the text that Tybalt is a hottie but he also knows he’s a hottie. But also he’s weirdly overprotective of Juliet for a cousin? Like you know there’s some weird first cousin shit going down in the Capulet family.
Friar Lawrence: Fuckboi
Hear me out, yes I get as a Friar he’s probably never had anyone touch his dingaling but you cannot convince me he wasn’t jacking it off to Romeo and Juliet’s secret relationship like hell yeah I did that. Also the way he continually encouraged Romeo’s bullshit has massive fuckboi vibes.
(This is actually based on She’s the Man I never studied this play except for my skim through Sparksnotes)
He think’s he’s a fuckboi but just has no luck with the ladies. Girl’s pine over him and yet he has none?
The fool simps hard for Olivia? I think? He shouldn’t though.
But he’s accidentally a fuckboi. He’s probably harmless but as soon as Olivia starts giving him attention he is true fuck.