There’s a high chance that if you own a computer and have a decent reliable internet connection you to are connected to popular television hosting website Netflix. And if you are a subscriber to such a site you would be aware that in the past couple of days, Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events has been added to the list of delightful programs available for viewing.
In the spirit of being cool, hip, and relatable to whatever is currently trending, I have created a list of inconvenient things that have happened to me this year so far but in an overdramatic manner in order to make them seem just as unfortunate.
1. I Can’t Find My Yoga Mat
Now when I have my small moments of “man I should really start exercising more” I have such a valid excuse to not do anything. What is yoga without a yoga mat? What about other things that use a yoga mat? Maybe pilates? Am I meant to do sit ups on the hard wooden floor boards? Won’t that ultimately end in injury and/or death?
2. My Cream Cheese Went Off
Cream cheese is not cheap. I shouldn’t even be buying cream cheese but this one particular day I had purchased a bag of bagels along with various vegetables and cream cheese to go onto said bagels. Now my most recent purchase of bagels was completely ignominious due to the fact that as I opened my tub of cream cheese, to spread onto my delicious baked fresh today bagels, I found the creamy white texture I had expected was replaced with a disgusting grey mush which caused me to throw the tub straight into the bin. This is terrible because this was meant to be my breakfast, and breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and without breakfast this could lead to injury and/or death.
3. I Have to Move House… Again
Possibly the most inconvenient of all the events. Moving house sucks. You have to pack, then organise movers, and carry furniture, and even worse when you finish moving you have to UNPACK. And what happens if the house you move into is on a slope that you don’t notice until you’re putting together your bookshelf and all of a sudden all the books fall off and crush you and you get injured or die?
4. I Went on a Pretty Lousy Date
I’m sure some wise old person is standing on a corner somewhere saying something about how you gotta kiss a few toads etc. But this is now two hours of my life that I won’t get back and now unfortunately will be ingrained into my mind forever. What would I have done in that two hours otherwise? Probably watched Netflix, maybe cooked dinner in that time, possibly even slept? And who’s to say how many more lousy dates I will have to go on in my life? And how dangerous they will end up being? What happens when I accidentally agree to go out with a serial killer? WHAT HAPPENS THEN? (Injury and/or death)
5. A Series of Unfortunate Events Only Has Eight Episodes
That is a lot less than I compensated for. This means once I complete all eight (currently 6 down, 2 to go) I will have to do SOMETHING ELSE. Perhaps find a different show to watch? But that is so much effort! I may as well just spend that time SLEEPING but if you sleep too much it might end in injury and/or death.